Have you been dreaming a lot lately? I don’t mean daydreaming, I’m referring to deep, intense nocturnal dreams. This past week I’ve experienced dreaming marathons. I wake up drenched in sweat, catching my breath, and mentally reviewing dream drama.
The one that stood out this week was a classic anxiety dream. It felt like it went on for hours—and maybe it did. It started at some sort of resort. I was lost and I was walking my dog Joy, who (in real life) is recovering from a major surgery. In the dream, I was very worried about Joy walking on her vulnerable leg. I wanted to find my way home.
The dream progressed. At one point, we were walking through snow, and next, I was driving down steep hills trying to stop the car before we careened into traffic. Then we got on a bus hoping it would take me near my childhood home in San Francisco. All along this crazy stressful journey people were helpful and kind.
Joy and I slid out of the bus, and down a ramp the people on the bus provided. We were in a San Francisco shopping area I did not recognize. Joy was limping and tired. I worried about her. I asked folks on the street, where are we? The name of the area was unfamiliar.
I decided to call home to ask my mom to come pick us up. (Let me share here that we sold our home in San Francisco when I was 17 years old, and my parents passed away years ago). But, in the dream calling home made sense. Unfortunately, when I went to use my phone, it was not mine. I must have picked up someone else's phone by mistake.
I panicked. But just then a lovely lady came out of a bar and handed me my phone. I had picked up her phone in error. It seemed like everything we going to be fine, but I could not find the home button on my phone. I turned it around and around, puzzled. At the same time, I was struggling to remember my home phone number. Then I woke up.
Holy cow! I was fine, awake in my real home. I listened to the rhythmic breathing of my dog Joy, safe and sound in her bed. I reviewed the dream in my mind, curious about its message and purpose. Why was I lost, why was I back in San Francisco and why was I trying to call home? And why were all the people so helpful and kind?
The answer was consistent with an overall theme in my life. The parents who raised me were not safe or kind, but, at the subconscious level, I still want to believe I can count on them. The dream showed me that people all around me are safe and reliable. Most importantly, it struck me that I am my home button.
I share this today to hope you trust your interior self to be the most reliable, consistent resource in your life. You are your home button.