Generally, you enter a conversation with an idea about what you want to say or what you want to achieve. This is a good starting place but I’d like to explore an even more powerful approach. Consider becoming a thought partner.

In this role, you do not have an agenda, an opinion, or advice. Your only objective is to help the other person (let’s call them your client) gain a clear perspective about their thinking. The underlying assumption is that the client has their own wisdom and you are there to help them tap into their brilliance.

If you are familiar with coaching, this is not new information for you. But, sadly, it’s so darn easy to fall into giving advice or even arguing. So, I thought I’d take a moment to walk you through a thought partner approach.

Step One: Help your client get crystal clear about the issue at hand. If you ask “How can I support you today?” your client will likely present a problem or obstacle they are facing. I encourage you to probe. Ask some questions like:

• How is this situation/challenge affecting you?
• What makes this a priority right now?
• How does this connect with what matters most to you?
• If this was resolved, how would that change things?
• How might you need to change to transform this issue?
• 
  

As you move through these questions, you are helping your client get internally centered. They are aligned with their needs, values and beliefs. Now you can dig in.

Step Two: Define a measurable outcome for your conversation. Ask:

How will you know you have reached a solid conclusion regarding this matter?

Can you suggest a way we can make the outcome measurable (like on a scale of 1-10)?

Describe success for me as it relates to this issue.

Step Three: Be a thought partner. This has two elements. The first is to reflect and/or summarize what you are hearing. This allows the client to hear and explore their thoughts and feelings. You are a powerful mirror.

Next, ask a question grounded in genuine curiosity. Your goal is to help your clients see gaps in their logic or unfounded assumptions. You are also inviting a high level of accountability. You help them see their role and explore new alternatives.



I am inspired to share this with you hoping it gives you a new perspective on a situation in your life. Find an awesome thought partner to help you or be there for someone who needs your support. We just can’t have enough of this in our world today.