Did you have a crappy advisor experience somewhere along your path? Maybe your high school advisor told you college was not in the cards for you. Perhaps they gave you the wrong information or bad advice wasting your time or worse, limiting your future options. It can be devastating to be dismissed or misled by an influential authority.

As a career coach, it breaks my heart to hear these unfortunate stories and causes me to reflect on my own crappy advisor episode. But, surprisingly, mine had a happy ending.

My college experience was an evolving liberal arts journey. I had multiple interests. I loved writing and English, but I also had a thirst for psychology and interpersonal communication. I dabbled in these subjects through my freshman and sophomore year wondering what major I should choose.

The discomfort of my undeclared major combined with a lack of career direction led me to make an appointment with my advisor, a philosophy professor who had been at St. Mary’s College of California forever.

I entered his office, appropriately located in an ivory tower (if you’ve been to St. Mary’s College you know I’m not making this up.) I sat down and shared my varied academic interests and my worries about a lack of career direction. He sat back a bit and then give me his golden advice. He said, “well you are attractive and will get married so you should study philosophy and religion.”

I was stunned and confused. Being both introverted and chronically nice, I did not tell him off. I just ended the meeting quickly and got out of there. I remember standing in the quad, surrounded by beautiful buildings, lush green grass, and bustling students. I felt anger rising into my chest. I needed someone I could trust and I needed them now.

My first thought was one of my favorite professors in my communication class, his name was Mark. I marched across campus into his office where he sat, as if he was waiting for me. I told him what had happened and asked if he would be my advisor. He agreed and listened carefully to my interests and concerns.

He asked me a pivotal question that shaped the rest of my academic life and opened doors I had never imagined. “Have you considered a self-designed major?” I had never heard of this option. He explained I could select courses from different majors and, with his approval, I could create my own major. Wow, I was thrilled and empowered.

Beyond setting the stage for an incredibly positive college experience, I also learned something important about myself. When faced with an impasse, I did not fall into a pile of self-pity. I took control of the situation and changed my trajectory—something I’ve done again and again over the course of my life.

I hope this little walk down memory lane has come on a day when you need to remember this:  no one but you defines the course of your future.



#happiness #positivemindset #celebrate #vibes #joyinthejourney #liveyourbestlife #inspiration #choosehappiness #loveyourlife #positivemind #helenhoryza